Thursday, July 23, 2009

Is It Ever Ok To Fake An Orgasm?

Unequivocally, the answer is NO!

Now, let me first address that it is usually the women that fake their orgasms, for a multitude of reasons, but more and more men are doing it as well.

Let me explain why this is such a problem. First of all, it's a lie. You are making your partner believe that they are pleasuring you in the most passionate, loving, intimate way. When faking a climax, your leading your partner to believe that their doing a good job. Which leads to the next indication that there is no communication during what should be a sacred experience.

When you think about it from that point of view, let's consider what we teach children about lying,....the first lie is easy, but then it becomes harder and harder to cover up the first lie with one after the other, digging them deeper into trouble.

That is exactly what happens when you don't communicate to your partner what pleases you or what your needs are when your making love. Did you read that correctly? "Love making" not sex making, or fulfilling your partners needs and not yours; I said "love making". That takes two. You just can't do it alone. Well, you can,.....but there is something missing in that experience isn't there? YES, it's the other person!

So ladies, if you are faking it here and there, let me assure you that you are only digging yourself into more trouble. For one thing, start telling yourself that you deserve to be pleasured as much as he does, and expect it! There is nothing a man loves more than to know that he is pleasuring his mate (it's an ego thing). Men, if you are having issues and find yourself faking it, you need to express to your mate the reasons it is happening. Either partner deciding that it is ever ok to fake an orgasm, is ultimately making a choice about how intimate their relationship is and will become in the future. So, if you've been in a relationship for 1 year or 50 years, it is NEVER to early, or late to start having a true intimate life together.

Have an intimate day!


Thursday, July 16, 2009

Date Night: A must have in a marriage!

I was thrilled when I met my husband, but was not thrilled about having a long distance relationship. Our dating regimen was a nightly phone conversation that didn't even happen until all our children were in bed. When we did see each other in person, our children also accompanied us making it difficult to have "alone time". This bonding routine ultimately did allow us to connect on a more intimate verbal level however, I vowed that once we were married we WERE going to have a "date night" once a week to make up for our non-traditional dating. He agreed willingly and we have never missed a "date night" since.

I cannot stress enough the importance of a couple, whether married 1 year or 50, to have that "alone time" with each other. Date night should be a commitment where nothing is more important that disrupts a partners quality time together. Once a regular date night is established, over a short period of time each individual desires that time with their spouse in turn making this event sacred in a marriage!

What are some of the best "date nights" you have had with your partner?

Have an intimate day!