Friday, January 29, 2010

Predators VS Children

I've been sitting on this subject for a while now, but it's time to post it. I think because it's a difficult subject for any parent to deal with, and what parent wants to talk about predators to their children? Unfortunately it's a harsh reality how many predators share the same atmosphere with our kids. Although there is plenty of information for parents to educate themselves & their children, far too many would rather stick their head in the sand pretending it doesn't exist in "their world".

While working in the prison system for 8 years, I've had my fair share of interactions with sexual predators. I know details of too many cases, and let's just say, I wish I could erase the details in my mind but I can't. I can share some things that will hopefully get people to start thinking smarter about these predators & how to protect their children, or ANY child for that matter!

First, let me tell you what makes me crazy. Parents or Grandparents that drive around with decals on the back of their vehicle displaying the pride that they have for their kids. Now,there's nothing wrong with being proud of your kids, but think about this for a minute. I've seen decals with their kids name, what sport or activity their in, what school they go to (so now I know what area they live in), how many people are in the family (you know, the little stick family decals), and since I know what activities these kids are in, I know that they have a routine of practices to parks, fields, away from home,...are you getting the drift of where I'm coming from?

An inmate was talking to a co-worker of mine about how he could find out EVERYTHING about her in one day. She scoffed at him not believing a word. The next day, the same inmate came up to her and told her, her address, her birthday, how many kids she had, where they went to school, and on & on. And he did this in the comfort of his jail cell. Need I say any more?
OK, so that's just a pet peeve I have.

You may be thinking, you've taught your kids enough about "stranger danger", and that they would NEVER go off with someone they didn't know, right?.....
Well, think again. Click on this link, and watch the video. You can actually order it & it's free.

Safe From Harm

Internet safety is a HUGE concern! While living in New Mexico last year, a state police officer acquaintance of mine, told me that there were 11,000 online predators in Albuquerque alone. Now Albuquerque is not considered a very big city, so think about how many are in your city. I found this link with a VERY informative article about Internet predators, and I suggest it be read in full.

Internet Predators and Their Prey

"Sexting" is another area that we need to address with our kids. It's becoming an out of control situation that has serious and sometimes criminal consequences for young teens. Watch this shocking video from CBS News.

Dangers Of Teen "Sexting"

I can't stress enough, how important it is to be in CONSTANT communication with our kids! These issues need to be regurgitated over and over again with them, not just talked about one time than walk away as if you feel you've done the parental duty.
And if you don't have kids, IT DOESN'T MATTER! I'm sure you know someone who does. I love the saying, "it takes a community to raise a child", it also needs a community to keep them safe.

I'm asking for a favor when it comes to this post. FORWARD THIS! Please! To anyone you know that has kids & wants to keep them safe.

Thanks everyone!

Have an intimate day!


Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Intimate Violence

I remember watching a commercial a few years ago, where a couple in an apartment hears pounding, yelling & crying between another couple in the apartment above them. They glance at each other in regret. Sadness fills their eyes, yet they do nothing. Such a powerful message.

Unfortunately, violence & abusive relationships are a reality, and I think that it is an issue that needs to be acknowledged whether one has ever experienced intimate violence or not.

Intimate violence consists of any physical, emotional, verbal abuse, threats isolation or intimidation between one or more individuals in a relationship. Whether spousal, child, partner, even elder, violence and abuse affects everyone.

The abusive individual needs to maintain control & power over his or her relationships, and more often than not was probably a recipient of abuse at some point in their lives & often unknowingly realizing that they are performing abusive acts.

Violence & abuse in relationships cause devastating long term effects on all who are involved. Children witnessing or recipients of abusive behavior will have a lifetime of behavioral, social and emotional challenges.

I feel pressed to write about this topic because I have witnessed & been a recipient of one or more of these types of abuse. I can't stress enough, how important it is to recognize when an individual is taking abusive control toward another individual. Unfortunately our society has become so desensitized by media, that shocking "bad" behavior has become a norm in our lifestyle. We find ourselves accepting verbal abuse, condescension, intimidation of others as a problem that the "other person" has. Even if we are not the recipients, it affects us. The desensitization of the act alone is an affect.

Violence & abuse in relationships is on the rise. Society knows more about it. Science has researched it, evidence proves the effects, organizations are available for support,.....yet the problem escalates. What's going on here? How is this continued abuse & violence so problematic in our relationships today?

This weeks topic is an attempt to get people to acknowledge what "abuse" really is. Does it occur in your relationships? Are YOU really sure if it occurs or not in your relationships? Do you know anyone who is experiencing intimate violence or abuse? Have you confronted it? Have you reached out a hand, or even an anonymous intention? We need to stop being "desensitized" by societal acceptance and start acting on the issues that will devastatingly affect our future generations.

If you would like more information on Intimate violence & abuse please check out these sites:

Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness

National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center

Thanks everyone!
Have an intimate day!


Tuesday, January 5, 2010


Ok people, how many of you have made a New Year's resolution in your life? Now let me ask, how many of those resolutions have you kept? I understand all to well the answers come as no surprise that we rarely stick to resolutions. So let's try a different approach this year. Instead of resolutions, how about committing to a change in your lifestyle as you now know it? Although it may sound to large of a task, but the first step to changing your lifestyle is actually taking only one step at a time.


Identify the areas of your life you would like to improve, and write it down in a notebook or journal.

* Would you like to address your exercise & eating habits?
* Is organization a problem for you?
* Would you like to spend more quality time with your children?
* Is the relationship between you & your spouse lacking in some areas?

By doing just this, you've made a step toward changing your lifestyle.


* Choose from the list, one item that holds the most priority for you.

By choosing just one, the less likely you will feel overwhelmed by all the other changes you'd like to see happen. Choosing ONE makes the change attainable!


* Prepare to commit to that ONE attainable change every day!

Once that change becomes a routine, you'll be ready to move to the next priority on your list.

Keep in mind that a change in lifestyle doesn't have to be ground breaking. Even subtle improvements can make huge differences in your home & work relationships.

For example: If spending more time with your children is important to you, setting a daily half hour to an hour of quality uninterrupted time with your child provides stability and worth not just for them, but for you as well.

Finding moments to share with your children are easier than you think. If you cook dinner for your family, invite the child to help you prepare. Dusting, folding clothes, any routine act you do in your home, you can incorporate your child's involvement. Even the smallest task you give that child provides them great achievement, and most of all, individual time with you. These subtle acts are the changes in lifestyle that should be recognized as success!

Recognize that you as an adult are able to hold a job, run a home & errands without any thought,....because it's a routine action. Routine is the keyword in making lifestyle changes stick.

Each one of us performs daily routine tasks that are necessary. Understand that positive lifestyle changes ARE necessary!

So make your list.

Choose ONE at a time.

Subtle change, is successful change.

And most of all, make it routine!

I hope this weeks post gives you some food for thought, and as I have only mentioned a few options for improving your lifestyle, feel free to offer ways you have been able to make lifestyle changes stick.

Have an intimate day!