An Ode to Mother's

Sadly I almost forgot that this weekend is Mother's Day. So instead of writing about the follow up to finding "Clarity" on the trampoline (and believe me,....do I have a whopper of a story to that one), I knew I had to write about the most endearing creature to walk the earth. MOMS.

Now before I pay such tribute to moms , please know that there are many fathers out there who have had to take a mothers place for untimely reasons, and I hold them in the very highest of regards, because being a mom, is truly the hardest job there is. But that post will come for Father's Day.

Back to "the mom".

There have been millions of words to describe a mother's love through the years. All you have to do is walk into a card store a month before the date and your swallowed up in sappy mush. But have you ever really thought about the actions of a mother?

The mother carries a life within her, enduring all the joys and discomforts a growing baby offers. Although there may be moments of weakness she stays in motion, desperate to see the face that she had been dreaming of for a lifetime. For 9 months she sacrifices so many of her own needs, knowing full well that the sacrifices, are lifelong.

The joyful day arrives when that life is brought into the world. The pain that had consumed her body, fades in seconds as she holds her child for the first time.

Days,..... months,.... even years pass and the mom, fixes the lunches, mends holes in the clothes & the hearts of a hurt child. Simple kisses can miraculously erase wounds from the playground bully. Closet monsters are destroyed by a simple spray bottle filled with magic potion, (otherwise known as water). Mothers even have strength of a million men should anyone try to harm her child. And the best part of all,.....mothers have intuition. It is a gift unlike any other. The ability to be so connected to her child, that she knows,.......even if her child is grown,......she knows, she feels,............when something isn't right. And she'll call you on it every time.

That's a mom. Brilliant, inventive, loving, captivating,..........there just aren't enough adjectives, or enough room on this page,....or enough time in our lives to express how glorious mothers are.

Sure, moms aren't perfect,......we'll be the first to admit it. How often we let our children down,...how we could be spending more time with them,.....we "shoulda did this" or "coulda done that",....we'll beat ourselves until our last breath, knowing that we could have loved our children more.

And isn't that just like a Mom?

Only when we as children grow to experience our own children, do we have any concept of what "mom" has done for us.

This week,.....honor your mom. In life or in death; emulate the values, the gifts, the joy, the love, the humility, and the grace..... that ONLY a mother could with your own family. You don't however, have to have children or physically be a "mom" to honor her in these acts. You do it, in your everyday events. And by all means honor, respect, love......on the one day that's set aside, just for her!

With all my heart & soul...........

I LOVE YOU MOM!

Have an intimate day!

Jennifer

Predators VS Children

I've been sitting on this subject for a while now, but it's time to post it. I think because it's a difficult subject for any parent to deal with, and what parent wants to talk about predators to their children? Unfortunately it's a harsh reality how many predators share the same atmosphere with our kids. Although there is plenty of information for parents to educate themselves & their children, far too many would rather stick their head in the sand pretending it doesn't exist in "their world".

While working in the prison system for 8 years, I've had my fair share of interactions with sexual predators. I know details of too many cases, and let's just say, I wish I could erase the details in my mind but I can't. I can share some things that will hopefully get people to start thinking smarter about these predators & how to protect their children, or ANY child for that matter!

First, let me tell you what makes me crazy. Parents or Grandparents that drive around with decals on the back of their vehicle displaying the pride that they have for their kids. Now,there's nothing wrong with being proud of your kids, but think about this for a minute. I've seen decals with their kids name, what sport or activity their in, what school they go to (so now I know what area they live in), how many people are in the family (you know, the little stick family decals), and since I know what activities these kids are in, I know that they have a routine of practices to parks,....to fields,...games away from home,...are you getting the drift of where I'm coming from?

An inmate was talking to a co-worker of mine about how he could find out EVERYTHING about her in one day. She scoffed at him not believing a word. The next day, the same inmate came up to her and told her, her address, her birthday, how many kids she had, where they went to school, and on & on. And he did this in the comfort of his jail cell. Need I say any more?
OK, so that's just a pet peeve I have.

You may be thinking, you've taught your kids enough about "stranger danger", and that they would NEVER go off with someone they didn't know, right?.....
Well, think again. Click on this link, and watch the video. You can actually order it & it's free.

Safe From Harm

Internet safety is a HUGE concern! While living in New Mexico last year, a state police officer acquaintance of mine, told me that there were 11,000 online predators in Albuquerque alone. Now Albuquerque is not considered a very big city, so think about how many are in your city. I found this link with a VERY informative article about Internet predators, and I suggest it be read in full.

Internet Predators and Their Prey

"Sexting" is another area that we need to address with our kids. It's becoming an out of control situation that has serious and sometimes criminal consequences for young teens. Watch this shocking video from CBS News.

Dangers Of Teen "Sexting"

I can't stress enough, how important it is to be in CONSTANT communication with our kids! These issues need to be regurgitated over and over again with them, not just talked about one time than walk away as if you feel you've done the parental duty.
And if you don't have kids, IT DOESN'T MATTER! I'm sure you know someone who does. I love the saying, "it takes a community to raise a child", it also needs a community to keep them safe.

I'm asking for a favor when it comes to this post. FORWARD THIS! Please! To anyone you know that has kids & wants to keep them safe.

Thanks everyone!

Have an intimate day!

Jennifer

Resolutions

Ok people, how many of you have made a New Year's resolution in your life? Now let me ask, how many of those resolutions have you kept? I understand all to well the answers come as no surprise that we rarely stick to resolutions. So let's try a different approach this year. Instead of resolutions, how about committing to a change in your lifestyle as you now know it? Although it may sound to large of a task, but the first step to changing your lifestyle is actually taking only one step at a time.

FIRST:

Identify the areas of your life you would like to improve, and write it down in a notebook or journal.

* Would you like to address your exercise & eating habits?
* Is organization a problem for you?
* Would you like to spend more quality time with your children?
* Is the relationship between you & your spouse lacking in some areas?

By doing just this, you've made a step toward changing your lifestyle.

SECOND:

* Choose from the list, one item that holds the most priority for you.

By choosing just one, the less likely you will feel overwhelmed by all the other changes you'd like to see happen. Choosing ONE makes the change attainable!

THIRD:

* Prepare to commit to that ONE attainable change every day!

Once that change becomes a routine, you'll be ready to move to the next priority on your list.

Keep in mind that a change in lifestyle doesn't have to be ground breaking. Even subtle improvements can make huge differences in your home & work relationships.

For example: If spending more time with your children is important to you, setting a daily half hour to an hour of quality uninterrupted time with your child provides stability and worth not just for them, but for you as well.

Finding moments to share with your children are easier than you think. If you cook dinner for your family, invite the child to help you prepare. Dusting, folding clothes, any routine act you do in your home, you can incorporate your child's involvement. Even the smallest task you give that child provides them great achievement, and most of all, individual time with you. These subtle acts are the changes in lifestyle that should be recognized as success!

Recognize that you as an adult are able to hold a job, run a home & errands without any thought,....because it's a routine action. Routine is the keyword in making lifestyle changes stick.

Each one of us performs daily routine tasks that are necessary. Understand that positive lifestyle changes ARE necessary!

So make your list.

Choose ONE at a time.

Subtle change, is successful change.

And most of all, make it routine!

I hope this weeks post gives you some food for thought, and as I have only mentioned a few options for improving your lifestyle, feel free to offer ways you have been able to make lifestyle changes stick.

Have an intimate day!

Jennifer

Your Kid Is Bent!

A few days ago my husband and I were talking about our 3 youngest children and how all of their personalities differ. We were able to pick out specific traits and characteristic the we hope forecast what they may be like as they grow into adulthood. In our quiet time together, we discuss how we can help mold our children into what we as parents would like them to be. A common topic I suppose among most parents. At least that was until I read something that changed my perspective of how I currently view my children.

In the book "Cure for the Common Life: Living In Your Sweet Spot", author Max Lucado cites a quote from Charles Swindoll's book "You and Your Child". It states, "The child is not, in fact, a pliable piece of clay. He has been set; he has been bent. And the parents who want to train their child correctly will discover that bent!" (Swindoll, 1997)

That statement allowed me to realize that my children are already "bent". They may own a piece of my DNA, but they're encrypted with a code that has nothing to do with me.

Let's take for example, Jai Joshi; a dear reader and an accomplished published author. Her biography tells us she was raised by a family of scientist's, but even as a child, she knew she was pre-wired for writing. Not only does she enjoy writing, she lives and breathes it. Writing courses through her veins; it is a part of her physical makeup. To read her work you become effortlessly captured by her words. Her verse consumes you as if you were a character in the storyline.

But what if her parents felt the need to mold her into something else? What if her parents thought they knew what was best for her? What if Jai Joshi didn't follow what she was "bent"for? An exceptional God given talent would be lost forever, and Jai would be condemned with a restless heart.

So the next time your wondering what your child will be when he grows up, take the time to study what your child is really "bent" for. Recognize if you may be inadvertently trying to undo that "bent".

I'll leave you with this quote:

"God gave you an eighteen-year old research project......Childhood tendencies forecast adult abilities. Read them. Discern them. Affirm them. Cheerlead them." (Lucado, 2005)

"Don't see your child as a blank slate awaiting your pen, but as a written book awaiting your study." (Lucado, 2005)


Have an intimate day!

Jennifer

Fun Family Traditions

With the holiday seasons quickly approaching, most of us become so caught up in the hustle & bustle of events that before you know it, they're all over leaving us wondering, "what just happened & did I do anything memorable with my family"?

For years, I myself have been pondering starting a family tradition with my own children and I've only come up with one. I decided that on Mother's Day, I would have a professional photo taken of just me and my children. Sadly, I have yet to do it. That has brought me to this post. This year, I plan on making a concerted effort to start some family traditions of my own, so that my children and grandchildren someday will look back on those moments and cherish them forever. The problem is, I can't think of any!

I also wanted to post this, knowing there are so many culturally diverse readers who can post their family traditions.

I can't think of a more intimate way of bringing families together than starting or having a tradition!

That being said, please share your family traditions; who knows, maybe your tradition will be carried on through others,........

What a great legacy!

Have an intimate day!

Jennifer

What's Your Love Language?

When my husband and I were dating (and I say that loosely since we had a long distance relationship), our "dating" consisted of a ritual nightly telephone call, where we developed a beautiful non-physical intimate relationship.

I had just bought the book "The Five Love Languages", by Gary Chapman suggesting to my new beau that he do the same. We decided to read a chapter daily, then discuss each chapter in our nightly phone conversations.

What we learned was that each of us have a "love language", and a very important "love tank" that needs to be filled. Just as an automobile needs a full tank of gasoline to run, every human needs their love tank filled.

There are 5 love languages described in the book:

* Words of Affirmation
* Quality Time
* Receiving Gifts
* Acts of Service
* Physical Touch

Now you may read those and automatically think you know what your love language is, and you may be right as I thought I knew what my love language was. Until I read the book! I wasn't far off on my choice, but I found that my true love language was not what I thought.

I also realized that my children have love languages too, and I had been way off on knowing what they were, and keeping their "love tank" full!


This book was a blessing to me, not only because I learned a deeper detail of myself, but it allows me to communicate with my husband and children on a level of intimacy that I wouldn't have been able to other wise. It also has given my husband and I some authority to hold each other accountable in our "love tank" maintenance. Just as an automobile needs maintenance to run properly, we too need maintenance to run properly.

If your curious (and you should be) about your "love language", I highly recommend the read. You can purchase the book right here by scrolling down the bottom of the page to "Books I Love". You can click right on "The Five Love Languages", and it will take to to the purchasing options.

I do hope you take this book into consideration. I think you'll find a different "language" in all of your intimate relationships!

Have an intimate day!

Jennifer

Sing It With Me!....

"It's the most wonderful time of the year"........
I know, it's not Christmas time, but it IS, kids' going back to school time! Yes, I admit, I've been carrying that tune around for days. Yet as I sing it with joy, I feel a myriad of other emotions.

Fear & excitement!

"Fear & excitement", what a pair. Fear about the unknown, and excitement for what is to come.

As adults, we have already experienced these emotions before the new school year, but for children, these feelings can be overwhelming. Parents can tell them until there blue in the face, that everything will be OK, but deep down inside, we don't know do we? We cross our fingers hoping that everyday they come off the bus, they'll have a positive experience at school. That every day, they'll understand their homework and get straight "A's"or that they'll be the popular child that never gets picked on. When in reality, we know that's not always going to happen. Parents can make themselves crazy with worry about our children's well being while there away from us.

If you have seen the movie "Finding Nemo" (if you haven't, you need to watch it), Dora, and Marlin were caught in the whales mouth. The two were in a position where they were just about to fall into the whales stomach, holding on desperately. Dora sensed that the whale wanted her to "let go", but Marlin wasn't about to. When Dora pleaded for Marlin to "let go", Marlin exclaimed, "how do you know something bad isn't going to happen"? The most poignant statement was made by Dora,......."I don't", and she let go.

Parents, need to "let go" sometimes. Our children will encounter hard times, and as difficult as it is for parents to observe, that's what "growing" is. All we can do, is be loving and supportive for our children.

So as you send your kiddo's off to school this year, kiss them,....hug them,....and tell them you'll be there, not only when they return from school,.......but always!

Then,.....Let go!

Have an intimate day!

Jennifer

Taming the Tongue

Not too long ago while teaching a 1st grade Sunday school class, I had given each of these 6 & 7 year olds a travel sized tube of toothpaste. "Are we going to learn how to keep our teeth clean", one student asked. "Oh no, we are going to learn something much more important", I stated. The first thing I had the children do was squeeze all the toothpaste out of the tube onto a paper plate. Squeals and giggles filled the room as they performed this task.

When I saw everyone was finished I said, "well, it seems everyone got their toothpaste out quite easily, didn't they"? Boisterous confirmation spilled through the air with pride and laughter. It was a sight to see the smiles plastered on their faces, knowing what was coming next. "Since you kids had such an easy time getting all that toothpaste out of the tube, I want you to put all of the toothpaste back in". Suddenly the smiles turned into perplexing wonder, as you could hear a pin crash to the floor. One child raised his hand and said, "but we can't do that. Once you squeeze the toothpaste out, you can't put it back in".

Profound simplicity isn't it?


The lesson was to help these children understand that once words are shot out of our mouths, it is impossible to ever take them back.

Anyone with children knows, that rarely do they keep comments to themselves and more often than not, they never mean to hurt with intent. Adults however, should know better. Instead, we allow words to spew from our tongue with intention to hurt and harm others.

This weeks effort is an attempt to look at ourselves and how our words affect others. Even if you don't have children, you were a child at one time and I am certain that you can remember when you were destroyed by the hurtful words of others. Remember, that you yourself, can change the way others speak to you. You can create intimacy with anyone you communicate with. Because a kind tongue,.......is contagious!


Have an intimate day!

Jennifer