Thursday, July 23, 2009

Is It Ever Ok To Fake An Orgasm?

Unequivocally, the answer is NO!

Now, let me first address that it is usually the women that fake their orgasms, for a multitude of reasons, but more and more men are doing it as well.

Let me explain why this is such a problem. First of all, it's a lie. You are making your partner believe that they are pleasuring you in the most passionate, loving, intimate way. When faking a climax, your leading your partner to believe that their doing a good job. Which leads to the next indication that there is no communication during what should be a sacred experience.

When you think about it from that point of view, let's consider what we teach children about lying,....the first lie is easy, but then it becomes harder and harder to cover up the first lie with one after the other, digging them deeper into trouble.

That is exactly what happens when you don't communicate to your partner what pleases you or what your needs are when your making love. Did you read that correctly? "Love making" not sex making, or fulfilling your partners needs and not yours; I said "love making". That takes two. You just can't do it alone. Well, you can,.....but there is something missing in that experience isn't there? YES, it's the other person!

So ladies, if you are faking it here and there, let me assure you that you are only digging yourself into more trouble. For one thing, start telling yourself that you deserve to be pleasured as much as he does, and expect it! There is nothing a man loves more than to know that he is pleasuring his mate (it's an ego thing). Men, if you are having issues and find yourself faking it, you need to express to your mate the reasons it is happening. Either partner deciding that it is ever ok to fake an orgasm, is ultimately making a choice about how intimate their relationship is and will become in the future. So, if you've been in a relationship for 1 year or 50 years, it is NEVER to early, or late to start having a true intimate life together.

Have an intimate day!



  1. I think faking an orgasm is deceitful. If you are not being pleasured by your partner, you need to take a step back and re-evaluate your relationship.

  2. As a male, this is a strange question to ponder. We are not the gender that is typically associated with this. After all, aren't we the ones more likely to rush than fake? :) With that said, I can actually claim guilt. It happened during one of those times when we were trying to get pregnant. Apparently there is such a thing as too much... Nothing quite like ovulation schedules to get you in the mood. The main problem is that when a man doesn't climax, the woman jumps to many self-depricating conclusions. It doesn't make it right but avoiding the argument seemed like a good idea at the time. Overall, I agree that it is lying and stands in the way of deeper intimacy.

  3. Wow! A man can fake an orgasm? That's crazy but I see what you're saying. Wouldn't it be obvious that he's faking it, though? I mean, would't something obvious be missing from the equation?

    I'm perplexed.

    This is an interesting topic. I give talks on Ancient Indian texts at a local college and one text I talk about is the Kama Sutra. In the Kama Sutra there's a list of all the signs that a man should look for to make certain his woman has had an orgasm. That way he knows whether or not he's doing a good job and can learn to be a better lover. It's fascinating.


  4. Jai,....I GOTTA talk to you more about this!!!!!
    Your comments are truly so welcome and warming. Thank you so much for your views.

    Thank you ALL for your comments. I can't wait to hear more regarding this topic.

    There were many other issues about this I wanted to add, but didn't want to make this post to "wordy". I am sure though, that the reasons WHY couples have these issues are sure to be upcomming posts!
    Thanks again eveeryone,....and keep the comments rolling,....just think, your responses, just may be helping others in these areas!

  5. I am with you 100%! Communication makes everything easier. Intimacy is only intimate if you can be yourself completely ;)

  6. ABsolutely!!!! And YOU,....are a very lucky woman! ;)

  7. It's my pleasure, Jennifer. I enjoyed your post and am looking forward to many more.