Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Your Kid Is Bent!

A few days ago my husband and I were talking about our 3 youngest children and how all of their personalities differ. We were able to pick out specific traits and characteristic the we hope forecast what they may be like as they grow into adulthood. In our quiet time together, we discuss how we can help mold our children into what we as parents would like them to be. A common topic I suppose among most parents. At least that was until I read something that changed my perspective of how I currently view my children.

In the book "Cure for the Common Life: Living In Your Sweet Spot", author Max Lucado cites a quote from Charles Swindoll's book "You and Your Child". It states, "The child is not, in fact, a pliable piece of clay. He has been set; he has been bent. And the parents who want to train their child correctly will discover that bent!" (Swindoll, 1997)

That statement allowed me to realize that my children are already "bent". They may own a piece of my DNA, but they're encrypted with a code that has nothing to do with me.

Let's take for example, Jai Joshi; a dear reader and an accomplished published author. Her biography tells us she was raised by a family of scientist's, but even as a child, she knew she was pre-wired for writing. Not only does she enjoy writing, she lives and breathes it. Writing courses through her veins; it is a part of her physical makeup. To read her work you become effortlessly captured by her words. Her verse consumes you as if you were a character in the storyline.

But what if her parents felt the need to mold her into something else? What if her parents thought they knew what was best for her? What if Jai Joshi didn't follow what she was "bent"for? An exceptional God given talent would be lost forever, and Jai would be condemned with a restless heart.

So the next time your wondering what your child will be when he grows up, take the time to study what your child is really "bent" for. Recognize if you may be inadvertently trying to undo that "bent".

I'll leave you with this quote:

"God gave you an eighteen-year old research project......Childhood tendencies forecast adult abilities. Read them. Discern them. Affirm them. Cheerlead them." (Lucado, 2005)

"Don't see your child as a blank slate awaiting your pen, but as a written book awaiting your study." (Lucado, 2005)

Have an intimate day!



  1. Wow! Thanks for the mention and the kind words.

    I agree with your point that children are born with their talents and abilities and it's better for parents to nurture those talents, or wait for those talents to reveal themselves when it's not immediately obvious.

    I was very lucky that my parents nurtured my passion for writing and supported me. They didn't stifle my creative efforts at all in instead took delight in my work. I was blessed.


  2. I loved this blog! Just last month (in honor of our daughter's 19th birthday) I pulled out all of the girls' baby books so that we could read them and enjoy some childhood memories. As new parents we had charted and noted each child's personality traits, firsts, etc. with much detail. It turns out that all the details that we recorded at 1, 2, and 3 years old still depict who these girls are today so many years later! Honestly, they haven't really changed at all. My husband and I always felt that our children came into this world "pre-wired", with a "fine tune" knob that we could turn. As parents, our job is to "fine tune" their unique gifts and help them become the person God intended for them to be.


  3. Ahhh, the good old fashioned nature v's nuture debate...

    i think you have to accept theres a bit of both involved...give love and encouragement and you'll recieve...a loved and enecouraged kid...who may well be hell bent and annoying and disreguarding your every wish... bliss!!

  4. Where are you, Jen? You haven't posted in a while.


  5. So sorry everyone. I had a horrible bout with a nasty virus that put me down for about a week and a half,...then found out my husband was offered a job in Pennsylvania, and will be starting in a few weeks. So we had to fly out to PA this past weekend to "house-hunt". It will be a crazy next few weeks for us moving and transfering kids into new schools,...but an adventure none-the-less. I'm posting my next segment as I finish this note. hope you like it. It's a doosey!