Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Sex IS Important!

Sorry for the absence everyone. There have been some significant life changes happening to me and my family lately that will prove to be quite the adventure in the next few weeks ahead. But I'm back with what I think is an extremely important topic: SEX!

So without further ado, let's get down to business!

Sex IS important! Let me repeat that. It is SO important, and before I go any further let me make it clear that because of my spiritual beliefs, I stress that sex is an act to be shared between a man and a woman after the commitment of marriage! That being said, let's continue :)

I started a group recently with friends of mine, making a vow that we meet once a month (whether we want to or not), to get away from the stressors of life in general. During our 2nd get-together (and after a few margaritas’) we started talking about,..you guessed it, SEX! Now the age's of the "ladies" ranged from the 30's 40's and early 50's. I soon came to the realization that we had something in common. We were all raised by parents with "old school" values, especially when it came to sexual roles in a marriage. I discussed with them what I discovered after my first marriage ended. Over all, with our age range, I'm finding there is no intimacy, passion or desire left in marriages today (and I speak of the majority, knowing that there are exceptions). And I wonder, what is happening to the marriage after the honeymoon?

I hear all kinds of excuses, "well, we have kids", or "our jobs are too stressful", "I'm so tired by the end of the day", and on and on and on,........

Well, to be honest, I think that's a bunch of CRAP! Marriage is WORK, and it is the MOST important job a man and a woman have in the home. Couples allow too many distractions in their lives that place a wedge between what's truly important. I don't care if you've been married 2 years or 50 years. Couples need to be able to share the deepest level of intimacy between each other, and that is sex!

If you don't really know much about it than you better learn, and if you think you know it all, than you're delusional! Let me give you an example; did you know that the female clitoris is comprised of 18 structures?!!!!

So I guess that really does prove that women are "complicated", but none-the-less..... MEN, you need to start talking to your wives about what THEIR sexual needs are, and LADIES, if you don't know what your needs are.........then you NEED to find out!

My point is, sex is the most important intimate act you can share with your mate. If you’re not allowing that to happen, the intimacy in all other areas of your life will be affected.

Talk to each other, touch each other, and explore each other. Laugh, tease, blush,......use food if you must! But in the end,.....melt into each other’s bodies and become one as God created you to be.

So, take this week’s message, and GO,....have at it!

And let me know how it turns out!

Have an intimate day!



  1. Yay, you're back. I hope those life changes you mentioned all work out. Best wishes to you and your family!

    Cool post, by the way. It's always fun to talk about sex.


  2. Welcome back! And I couldn't agree more regarding the sex thing. And the marriage thing being hard work.

  3. Hi Jen. I just started reading a book by Gary Thomas called "Sacred Marriage". He asks the question,"What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?. Chap. 5 talks about how a good marriage can foster a better prayer life. He says a man or woman facing sexual frustration might find it difficult to pray simply because his or her thoughts are failing to focus on the eternal. It's true. When I'm not getting along with my husband I don't pray nearly as well. I also find when I give myself even if I don't want to then I always end up enjoying and our relationship becomes much better. It's not about what he can do for me but what I am honored to do for him! There is so much to say about all this. This is one of the best books on marriage that I have ever read and I highly recommend it.

  4. Your right Amy,there is sooooo much more about this topic. I do like that you stated, what you can do for your spouse,and I will definately put that book on my list!

    Dorraine & Jai, glasd you like the post. I always get a little nervous about posting topics that may be contraversial or "taboo" in nature wondering what kind of responses I get back. But I do LOVE sex as a topic because of its importance in a relationship. Sometimes I even toy with the idea of becoming a sex counselor,...ok, well maybe when my "life" settles down a bit!

  5. Sex is definitely important. And, if I may say so, women don't always need it to be romantic, by candlelight, surrounded by rose petals, and etc, etc, you get my drift (not that we don't want that regularly as well). We like quickies, too, sometimes. No...we NEED quickies sometimes. And sometimes, we like it a little kinky and rough. Seriously. I'm lucky, I guess, in that I've never been shy about telling my husband what to do, and vice versa. The communication alone does wonders for your relationship. And it's also nice to NOT have to say anything and still get what you both want/need/REALLY want because you've discussed it so many times before.